September 20, 2008

Can a person quit smoking truth or lie

Posted in Comedy, decision making, family, Humor, lie of the day, life, Medical Conditions, men, opinion, Personal, responsibility, self help, Society, Spouses, true stories, women tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 10:23 pm by keithwilbur

https://i1.wp.com/www.geocities.com/yahmdallah/winnielangle.jpg

If you smoke, I bet YOU you won't make it to 100!


I’ve had this picture in the ideas folder for some time now. I knew I wanted to do something with it, but I just could not figure out what I wanted to do. First I thought, ahhh!, make a joke, the line could say, “I knew it, the whinny liberals don’t want us to enjoy our life!”. Finally it hit me; what I wanted to write about smoking here is that I am a former smoker and I can tell you this – between my ex-wife and smoking I am not going to see 100.

What I want to say about smoking and pass on is how I quit, because its a real pain in the butt to quit. I was no lightweight smoker, I smoked 2 packs a day. I started smoking when I was 16,  you know to be cool. Then I got married. My new wife (at that time)  asked me to quit. I did and did not smoke again until I got to know the real woman that I had married and got so stressed out that I started smoking again.

So I started smoking again. Well, it took me ten years then one day it hit me. I thought to myself,  you dumb ass your killing your self do you really want that c___ to out live you? So, I started trying to quit, first cold turkey. I had done that one once before but I was newly married to what I thought was a good woman and I was getting sex so cold turkey was not all that bad. That was when I was single and hooked and I tried cold turkey – no luck at all. To make a long story short, I tried several ways before I came up with what worked for me. I took an empty coffee can outside, smoked my last cigarette, then I took the money for the next two packs for that day, put the money in the coffee can and then I made a vow to myself that I would put the money in the coffee can each day and I could not touch it for two years but, if I had a cigarette even a bummed one, I would burn all the money in the can.  I made it for 21 days, I broke my vow to myself – there was 80 dollars in that can. Money was tight at that time and really important to me and it damn near killed me to keep my vow to myself and to burn up the $80.00 but I knew it would have been burned up anyway if I had smoked the 21 packs.

I have not had a cigarette since 1998 and after two years I had saved a little bit over $2,735.00 in that same can. I added this money towards buying a nicer Yamaha ATV. Mostly I am so glad that I quit.

If you smoke and want to quit I hope you find a way too.

I hope to hear some other true story’s for quitting smoking of course you can lie too.

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I will respect you in the morning: Truth or lie?

Posted in America, Comedy, guys, Humor, men, Sexism, women tagged , , , , , , at 8:55 pm by keithwilbur

Some common lines I have heard of that men use on women:

It hurts – I need you so bad…

Your the one that melted my heart enough so that I can even have sex…

I know your the one…

Guys have used lines like this probably since we lived in caves. Do women really fall for these lines or do they just let guys use these lines and set them up for the kill?

September 16, 2008

Is it possible to know the meaning of life? truth or lie?

Posted in Humor, life, meaning of life, philosophy, Professor Obvious, satire tagged , , , , , at 2:48 pm by jimwilbur

WASU – A Frank Lecture by Professor Obvious: 
The meaning of life is exactly that which you ascribe to it. Likewise the meaning that you do not ascribe to life is exactly the meaning life will not have for you. 
People who want a great deal of meaning in life should do a great deal of ascribing to everything they recognize about their life that can be ascribed to. They should keep doing this every day. They will then find their lives full of meaning.
People who want to successfully question the meaning of their lives should simply as a first step, remove all previously ascribed meanings they recognize until all ascribed and recognized meaning is gone. Second, they should meditate on further possible repressed meaning which parenthetically  ( they are sure to find ) then remove those meanings and repeat ad infinitum. Eventually, their life will seem as meaningless as they want it too.
At this point, one might rightly ask, What is the purpose of meaning? To this I might say it is the essence of an object and that if the term itself were to have no essence then it would render the term useless. Then again, remember – people are not terms.
From our monthly Magazine: “What we know”
at We’re all Screwed University

September 15, 2008

Has the Republican Party recently changed its strategy? truth or lie?

Posted in America, Comedy, decision making, gambling, Humor, lack of integrity, lie of the day, Lipstick on a pig, McCain, opinion, Palin, Politics, Republicans, responsibility, satire, Society, trust, winning tagged , , , , , , , , , at 11:40 am by jimwilbur

In a prior post I sort of half-assed lined out what I thought the Republican Party strategy has been for the past seven or so years.

I think McCain/Palin has changed strategy. They are using the Snipe hunting strategy.

When I was in High School, most every boy at one time or another went with his already initiated friends to hunt Snipe or Side Hill Dodgers or Hide-Behinds.

It was a right-of-passage. I went out with my friends, my gunny-sack (you always caught these things in gunny-sacks) for my first Snipe hunt, my Dad told me ‘son, there is no such thing as Snipe’. I knew my friends wouldn’t lie to me so I went hunting with them but by my third hunt I started to wonder if maybe my Dad knew something I didn’t know, as I had yet to see one Snipe.

It was a play on my youthful gullibility.

I am guessing that McCain/Palin are gambling that most people now-a-days haven’t gone through that right-o-passage…

I am guessing that McCain/Palin are gambling that most American’s will not use the internet to research the facts about their claims for themselves.

They are probably right.

I would call the McCain/Palin strategy ‘The big gamble’ strategy. It seems to me that they take big gambles on just how gullible Americans might really be.

Looks to me like they are doing pretty good!

Count the Lies

Posted in America, count the lies, democrats, Humor, Integrity, lack of integrity, lie of the day, Lipstick on a pig, Politicians, Politics, responsibility, Society, trust, winning tagged , at 11:08 am by jimwilbur

Here at Lie of the day we typically just report random lies or maybe ask you if you think something is a truth or a lie.

The Democrats have a new idea that sort of relates to what we do. They have decided to Count the Lies

September 14, 2008

Utopia is there such a place – Truth or lie?

Posted in 911, America, decision making, family, hope, Humor, lie of the day, Lies of kindness, life, losing, managing money, opinion, responsibility, self help, Society, the poor, trust, utopia, World tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 4:18 pm by keithwilbur

This is a bit of a personal story and a true story. I have a friend that moves all over looking for utopia. He drags his family from town to town and state to state they never settle in one place long enough to find decent jobs, they always complain about no work. After about two months they complain the people in these new towns do drugs or drink to much, jobs in the area just don’t pay enough. They live on the edge of life, but with the thought that some one, some where be it family or big brother will keep them them from falling into the abyss. They don’t see that they fell long ago and that they are at the bottom and looking up and only able to see assholes.

So here is my question – Is there such a place that you can go to or is utopia a state of your own mind?.

September 13, 2008

Government: Big Brother Truth or Lie?

Posted in Humor at 8:42 pm by keithwilbur

I’m with the Government and I’m here to help, yea right, we all say.

I say,  lets put Government, or Big Brother on a scale of one to ten, one being that they are total lairs and  ten being they do their jobs and make our life better.

I say give them a score. Now think about this, if you think Bush you may give a -10 or a + 10 depending if you lean left or right; I’m asking you to think about  roads, law enforcement, welfare,  clean or dirty water, parks.

Ok I think you get my drift – now vote damn it!

I give the bunch an over all – %)(#@#

The check is in the mail. We all know this is a lie!

Posted in decision making, Humor, lie of the day, managing money, Personal, responsibility, Society, trust tagged , , , , at 8:36 pm by keithwilbur

We all know this is a lie. At one time or another we have all called for our money, oh its in the mail, or I will get it to you next week.

When someone owes you and you get the runaround what do you do?

Is this what a Vader Indoctrination Video would look like? Truth or Lie?

Posted in Comedy, Crime and Punishment, fail, hope, Humor, Injustice, Justice, lack of integrity, losing, Religion, satire, Slitherintology, Society tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 4:18 pm by jimwilbur

If Darth Vader were to belong to a religion:

Should McCain put Palin on the Supreme Court? Truth or Lie

Posted in America, Comedy, decision making, Humor, Injustice, Justice, lack of integrity, Policy, Politicians, Politics, Religion, Republicans, satire, Society, Trends, winning, women tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:44 pm by jimwilbur

From a recent Newsweek article, Dahlia Lithwick argues that McCain should  put Palin on the Supreme Court rather than have run her as his Vice President.

Palin for Supreme Court

After reading the article, I think Lithwick’s logic is sound and that this would be a great course of action for John McCain to follow.

Here is a quote to demonstrate just how sound her logic is:

Finally, Palin has revealed, both as the mayor of Wasilla and then as the chief executive of Alaska, a style of governance that features the not-infrequent firing of dissenters. Among the growing list of those dismissed or threatened with removal on Palin’s watch were Mary Ellen Emmons, the Wasilla town librarian and vociferous opponent of Palin’s proposal to dabble in book banning, and John Bitney, Palin’s legislative director, who was dating the not-quite-ex-wife of one of her husband’s friends. Palin is also the subject of an ethics investigation for firing Walt Monegan, the Alaska Public Safety commissioner, who declined to fire the state trooper divorcing her sister. I can’t help but wonder if following two years of scandals surrounding the Bush administration’s decision to terminate nine U.S. attorneys for their imagined disloyalty, John McCain might be nervous about a vice president with a proclivity toward doing the same thing. If McCain puts Palin on the Supreme Court, however, she has only a trio of law clerks and a secretary to hire, and each can be vetted for ideological purity.

No fair arguing that Palin isn’t experienced enough to sit on the highest court of the land. What matters—far more than experience—is one’s unyielding moral certainty, relatability and gender. And Palin has these qualities in spades. Washington’s old-boy problem hardly ends at the Oval Office. If ever there were a D.C. institution in dire need of a place to plug in a breast pump, it’s the Supreme Court. And Palin has already proven that neither the courts, nor precedent, nor even the Constitution itself will be a match for the force of her will. America has finally found someone suited to put the “law” back into scofflaw, and it’s Sarah Palin. McCain shouldn’t waste her talents on state funerals.

Welcome to Lie of the Day!

Posted in Humor at 2:47 am by jimwilbur

We hope you enjoy our blog!

 

There are a couple of links in the Blogroll that are worth mentioning.

‘You Suck at Photoshop’, ‘Horrible People’ and ‘Fairy Tales’ are hilarious series of short videos. If you are looking for a laugh, you might want to check some of them out. They are some of my personal favorites.

Another day another dollar, just doing what we are told here at Lie of the Day!

Double Standard: Lipstick on a pig Truth or Lie?

Posted in America, Comedy, fake outrage, Humor, lie of the day, Lipstick on a pig, Monkey Butt, Politicians, Politics, Republicans, Society tagged , , , at 1:21 am by keithwilbur

Per Republicans:
Cheney: Lipstick on a pig (really funny!)
McCain: Lipstick on a pig (keen political observation!)
Palin: Lipstick on a pitbull (brilliant!)
Obama: Lipstick on a pig (an outrage!)


What do you think:
Do Republicans give new meaning to the term ‘double standards’?
Do the Republicans fake their outrage?
Are the Republicans as phoney as a three dollar bill?

September 11, 2008

How bad are prevalent lies of Omission?

Posted in America, Fads, family, hope, Humor, Integrity, lie of the day, life, opinion, Personal, Religion, responsibility, Society, Trends tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 1:42 am by jimwilbur

Being an American, this is what I have noticed about lies of omission:

  • Every decade seems to encourage certain lies of omission and every decade seems to permit or encourage certain truths to be told.
  • in the 1960’s young people were encouraged to tell the truth about their disdain for ‘authority’ and the ‘establishment’. This truth infected the society at large and there was a general disdain for authority and the ‘establishment’. Certain truths are also discouraged during each generation. In the 1960’s, people were discouraged from expressing patriotism or traditional religious beliefs.
  • During the 1970’s people of all ages were encouraged to tell the truth about how much they liked sex. This truth also infected the society at large. Adult theaters called ‘Pussy Cat theaters’ were common in most towns as were nude bars, etc. ‘Open marriage’ was a common concept and there were many main stream movies that promoted these kinds of ideas like ‘Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice’. The one night stand was considered a normal, socially acceptable relationship. Prudishness about sex was discouraged. Divorce was encouraged. Therapists would commonly encourage people to get a divorce if there was any dissatisfaction expressed during counseling sessions.
  • in my opinion, the 1980’s showed signs of overt manipulation of peoples values, wherein citizens were bombarded via TV and radio with government  promotion of a return to traditional Family and Christian values. This came about at a time when most people were already fed up with many of the excesses of the 1960’s and 1970’s that were impacting our society in negative ways and this bombardment had a strong effect.
  • The 1990’s seemed to be about Globalization, multicultural-ism, Big Box Retail Stores, Windows95 and, leveling the playing field. It was a new post cold war world we lived in. The conservative values fostered in the 1980’s by the Reagan Administration seemed to take root during this period. There was this idea of ‘tough love’ floating around.
  • This new American Century was marked and largely defined by 911, Anti-Terrorism, War and rising prices. The brand of conservative family values and christian values so heavily promoted in the 1980’s during the Reagan Administration and after 911, becomes a fundamentalist force to be reckoned with by those who would favor liberty and democracy over an authoritarian and theocratic interpretation of the primary founding documents of America, our Declaration of Independence, our Constitution and, our Bill of Rights. 
  • This is what confuses me so about having lived through these nearly 5 decades: If you were to follow the life course of average American’s that I have known, you would find a majority of people who used drugs in the 1960’s and called the police ‘pigs’, who in the 1970’s got divorced or cheated on their partners or participated in ‘group gropes’. You would find many of these same people in the 1980’s, seeing themselves as Christian Conservatives who believe in ‘traditional values’ and who by the time the 1990’s came around, would not admit to having been hippies in the 1960’s and/or swingers in the 1970’s. Then after 911, these same people changed once more to some kind of person I hardly recognize as an American or even a friend.
  • Then there are people like me. I was slightly influenced by each decade but never gave in to the excesses of what became normal behavior in each decade, including this one. I carry forward the parts of each decade that influenced me. Those influences make me who I am today, which is way outside the mainstream. Not hippie, not swinger, not traditional, not authoritarian. I am a quienticential product of the American way – not a product of any given decade I have survived.
  • In my opinion, there are lies of omission about the personal transformations most middle age Americans have gone through to ‘fit in’ during some of these rather bizarre periods of radical transformations in American culture. I think that if middle age Americans started being honest about who they really are rather than pretending and going with the flow of these ‘movements’ (and I think this ‘New American Century’ after 911 IS just another ‘movement’) we would see that America is not what it pretends to be now. I am not sure what America is and, I can only speak only from the perspective of my unique generation, but I think all this pompous authoritarian fundamentalist stuff at least when worn by Americans over the age of 50 is not flattering considering their ‘real’ histories and is a dangerous pretense that hides a generation of adults who are too easily influenced and have few core values that can withstand peer pressure. I think if tomorrow, the majority of people started calling the police – ‘pigs’, these same conservative old people would go with the flow and do the same things they have done in the past, they would start seeing me as ‘establishment’ rather than liberal because I would be supporting the police and think these instant liberals were jerks.

September 10, 2008

Do we make too much of the similarities between people of different faiths? truth or lie?

Posted in biology, Body, child birth, children, creation, family, genetics, hope, Humor, life, Religion, Society, World tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 12:11 am by jimwilbur

World Religion Research
Conclusions reported by Professor Obvious
For the last 15 years our comparative religion department at WASU has been studying world religions.
We have reached a few preliminary conclusions:

  • People of all religions die at some point as do their family members, their friends and loved ones.
  • Many people of all religions tend to have sex and have children.
  • People of all religions tend to eat, sleep and drink liquids.
  • People of all religions tend to have bodies that look strikingly similar to bodies of people in other religions. For instance, we usually observe, two legs, two arms, two eyes, a single mouth, a single nose, a single head, genital bulges under clothing when worn, two hands with five fingers on each hand, two feet with five toes on each foot. This is not always the case, but common enough that it should be noted. There are many other similar details – see separate appendix.
  • Living people of all religions seem to breath, have hearts that beat and, have blood flowing through their veins.
  • The living people almost always have a complex system whereby they take food in, mash it up and, digest it.
  • Once food or liquids are consumed, it seems that people of most religions do not retain all of what they consume.
  • Universally, we observed regardless of religion people defecate and urinate.
  • We have not physically observed this but based on behavior we think most people in most religions have a brain.

We will continue to study this subject to see what other amazing similarities we can find!

September 8, 2008

All work and no play? truth or lie

Posted in Business, Humor, on the job, Personal, Republicans, Society, Trends, Work tagged , , , , at 8:22 am by keithwilbur

It seems that during the past few years more and more people have been forced to work two jobs. No doubt if they are married chances are good that both spouses are working full time. Now with cell phones bosses, rather than having an eight hour day it seems that more people are being forced to be available by phone during what used to be their own private time.

Is it just me or are we all working too much, too long and don’t have enough time to play?

September 4, 2008

Is the end near? – Truth or Lie

Posted in America, babies, Blame, Body, Business, children, Comedy, family, genetics, Humor, lie of the day, Medical Conditions, men, military, Monkey Butt, Personal, Politics, Quotes, Religion, Republicans, satire, Society, soldier, Spouses, subconscious mind, technology, War, women tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 4:06 pm by jimwilbur

Professor Obvious of WASU gave a lecture today on the state of the world:

Look toward our future! Today there are approximately 6.7 billion people on this little planet. In the next hundred years all these people will be dead, well most of them anyway. What a tragedy! Who will dispose of all these bodies? Think about this too, more people will be born during the next one hundred years and many of those people will die! And what about all the animals? Think about the great blue whales, how many of them will die? What about the lions and tigers and bears? We worry about war, oil, poverty, terrorists and politics but who thinks about the great disaster that is facing us all other than those of us here at WASU?

At WASU, we are thankful to those professor’s who both seek and expose the truth! Obviously, our favorite professor received thunderous applause and a standing ovation from the appreciative audience here at We’re All Screwed University.

September 3, 2008

Dock Ellis of the Pittsburg Pirates pitched a no hitter on LSD Truth or Lie?

Posted in America, Baseball, Comedy, Humor, lie of the day, LSD, Music, satire, Society tagged , , , , at 2:00 pm by jimwilbur

Dock Ellis was one of the greatest ballplayers in the history of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Although he’s accomplished many things in his life, Dock may be best known among certain folks for having pitched a no hitter on LSD in 1970.

Todd Snider – America’s Favorite Pastime

September 2, 2008

The Republican Party has a political strategy that seems to be working for them – Truth or Lie?

Posted in America, Comedy, Humor, lie of the day, Politics, Republicans, Society tagged , , , , , at 11:33 pm by jimwilbur

The strategy as I see it goes something like this:

  •  Argue Republican Party goals are so righteous that the ‘ends justify the means’ with regard to party behavior. 
  • This effectively puts the party above the law.
  • Fight dirty because the parties righteous goals are more important than the laws of the land (i.e. the Constitution and so forth).
  • Hold Democrats to the standard of not being above the law because their goals are not lofty enough to put them above the law.
  • Discount Democrats because they do not have the same righteous lofty goals set forth by Republicans.
  • Make fun of Democrats because they obviously are not above the law like Republicans.
  •  Express moral indignation about anything a Democrat says or does.
  • Attack, attack, attack.
  • Then party!

September 1, 2008

‘No Values Voters’ Looking To Support Most Evil Candidate

Posted in America, Comedy, Humor, lie of the day, Politicians, Politics, satire, Society, Trends tagged , , , , , , , , at 9:57 pm by jimwilbur

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “‘No Values Voters’ Looking To Support…“, posted with vodpod

 

August 31, 2008

Men unnecessary? Truth or lie

Posted in babies, Body, bone marrow, child birth, children, DNA, family, genetics, Humor, men, pregnancy, sperm, Trends, women tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 7:30 pm by keithwilbur

Will science render men unnecessary?

The possibility seems real…

I normally don’t spend a great deal of time thinking about my sperm.

But recently a team of scientists announced they had made artificial sperm from human bone marrow, and media reports abounded with the dire news that my goodfellas (and by extension, me) had been rendered unnecessary.

If a woman chose to do so, speculated tabloid journalists, she could make sperm from her own bone marrow, fertilize another woman’s egg — and voila, no man needed!
BBC article

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