October 12, 2008

The Large Hadron Collider: The End Of The Universe? Truth or Lie?

Posted in belief, Comedy, creation, faith, fanaticism, Humor, Large Hadron Collider, lie of the day, progress, satire, science, technology tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 3:36 pm by jimwilbur

Watch this video about the Large Hadron Collider. This guy knows what he is talking about! Decide for yourself, should this project be stopped?

September 27, 2008

Is this the attitude a Perfect Employee should have? Truth or Lie?

Posted in America, Comedy, crazy life in America, Humor, lie of the day, life, on the job, satire, Society, Work tagged , , , , , , at 11:19 pm by jimwilbur

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4pm and then bring it in to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it’s a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how I am doing. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising my every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations.

9. I was born to be whipped.

10. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

11. Never introduce me to people you are with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

12 Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager’s hell.

13. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any, and its nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus cheque you received for being such a good manager.

14. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goal SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway.

September 25, 2008

Wallstreetbailout at treasury dot gov Is this letter a hoax? truth or lie?

Posted in America, bailout, blank check letter, hank paulson, Humor, lobbyists, phil gram, treasury, Wall Street tagged , , , , , , , , , at 1:39 pm by jimwilbur

September 29, 2008

The stock market has been dropping today, I think at one point it dropped more than 700 points. Want to know how we got to this point? As I understand, it is actually rather simple. Someone came up with the idea that banks could in essence sell the risk they were taking and the potential profits they could make by loaning money. Banks could do this by packaging multiple loans then selling the loan packages to companies with names like Fannie Mae, Ginny Mae or Freddie Mac who would then assume the potential risks and the potential profits. These companies would then sell these loan packages to other investment companies.

Loans earn interest and a loan instrument has value to an investor because of the potential interest income that loan can generate during the amortization period of the loan. This is only true though if the borrower is a good credit risk and pays off the loan as promised and per the terms of the loan.

Banks over time became excellent at assessing whether or not borrowers were good risks and banks used to have a reputation for being extremely cautious about who they would lend money to. With the advent of being able to sell their risks to companies like Freddie Mac, banks became less concerned about assessing risk and instead focused their concerns on being able to sell loan packages per the criteria established by companies like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. This created a situation where their risk assessment was no longer of a high quality so the loan instruments they were selling as investment quality were also of low quality.

To make a long story short, the loan packages ended up be sold to retirement fund investment groups and most retirement accounts are heavily invested in these faulty instruments. So, people who are near retirement age are really going to take it in the shorts if this bailout does not go through.

Fix the problem then figure out who is at fault. Follow the money and make them pay. Seize assets and fortunes. Don’t throw them in jail, tax them for the rest of their lives at really high tax rates like 95%. Let them keep enough to survive but that is all. 

 

You will find the viral, funny letter about the bailout below v.

I recently received this email, do you think it is a hoax or should I respond?

Dear Friend:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.  
 
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.  
 
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe. 
 
This is matter of great urgency. We need blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.  
 
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.  
 
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury, 
 
The Honourable Hank Paulson

September 23, 2008

Do men want more than sex from a woman? truth or lie?

Posted in Comedy, guys, Humor, lie of the day, life, men, Personal, satire, Sexism, Spouses, women tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 10:03 pm by keithwilbur

Of course, men want more than just sex from a woman. How about a smile now and then?

Men try so damn hard to please their woman in hopes of sex. It is the only way men know of, if their woman cares about them, is to have sex when their woman wants to have sex with them. Therefore I think, men are strongly motivated to please their women.

And dang it woman! If you are not going to smile, you can at least do the washing and ironing!

September 21, 2008

Karma: Truth or is it just a lie we tell to ourselves?

Posted in America, children, Comedy, decision making, gambling, Humor, karma, lie of the day, life, Lottery, managing money, meaning of life, men, Personal, responsibility, satire, true stories tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 3:52 pm by keithwilbur

A few weeks ago I posted on Lie of the day about the lottery being a tax on the poor.  I believe there is some truth to that statement. Don’t get me wrong through, I used to buy lotto tickets now and then, but had stopped buying them because I seemed to never win anything.

It had been about a year since I bought a ticket. Well the other day I was filling my truck with gas and bought a dollar lotto ticket. In the back of my mind I was thinking that karma might help me win because karma in my case always wants to prove me wrong. Sure enough – I won. I thought to myself, hmmm, I posted some thing about the lotto screwing the poor and I win two dollars? Then I think about the old line that karma is a bitch and here at this point in my life, I have come to grips with karma by writing ‘the lotto is a scam’ post about screwing the poor out of there hard earned dollars – by winning! Well being the wild gambler that I am and knowing that karma is going to make sure I win, I decided to go all out – so I buy another two dollar ticket and as Karma would have it I win five dollars this time!

I decided to not push my karma any harder, knowing that karma was using me to take the food out of some poor child’s mouth. So I took my booty and put it in my wallet and hung my head in shame.

Do you think that Karma is real or is it just a lie we tell ourselves?

September 16, 2008

Is it possible to know the meaning of life? truth or lie?

Posted in Humor, life, meaning of life, philosophy, Professor Obvious, satire tagged , , , , , at 2:48 pm by jimwilbur

WASU – A Frank Lecture by Professor Obvious: 
The meaning of life is exactly that which you ascribe to it. Likewise the meaning that you do not ascribe to life is exactly the meaning life will not have for you. 
People who want a great deal of meaning in life should do a great deal of ascribing to everything they recognize about their life that can be ascribed to. They should keep doing this every day. They will then find their lives full of meaning.
People who want to successfully question the meaning of their lives should simply as a first step, remove all previously ascribed meanings they recognize until all ascribed and recognized meaning is gone. Second, they should meditate on further possible repressed meaning which parenthetically  ( they are sure to find ) then remove those meanings and repeat ad infinitum. Eventually, their life will seem as meaningless as they want it too.
At this point, one might rightly ask, What is the purpose of meaning? To this I might say it is the essence of an object and that if the term itself were to have no essence then it would render the term useless. Then again, remember – people are not terms.
From our monthly Magazine: “What we know”
at We’re all Screwed University

September 13, 2008

Is this what a Vader Indoctrination Video would look like? Truth or Lie?

Posted in Comedy, Crime and Punishment, fail, hope, Humor, Injustice, Justice, lack of integrity, losing, Religion, satire, Slitherintology, Society tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 4:18 pm by jimwilbur

If Darth Vader were to belong to a religion:

Should McCain put Palin on the Supreme Court? Truth or Lie

Posted in America, Comedy, decision making, Humor, Injustice, Justice, lack of integrity, Policy, Politicians, Politics, Religion, Republicans, satire, Society, Trends, winning, women tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:44 pm by jimwilbur

From a recent Newsweek article, Dahlia Lithwick argues that McCain should  put Palin on the Supreme Court rather than have run her as his Vice President.

Palin for Supreme Court

After reading the article, I think Lithwick’s logic is sound and that this would be a great course of action for John McCain to follow.

Here is a quote to demonstrate just how sound her logic is:

Finally, Palin has revealed, both as the mayor of Wasilla and then as the chief executive of Alaska, a style of governance that features the not-infrequent firing of dissenters. Among the growing list of those dismissed or threatened with removal on Palin’s watch were Mary Ellen Emmons, the Wasilla town librarian and vociferous opponent of Palin’s proposal to dabble in book banning, and John Bitney, Palin’s legislative director, who was dating the not-quite-ex-wife of one of her husband’s friends. Palin is also the subject of an ethics investigation for firing Walt Monegan, the Alaska Public Safety commissioner, who declined to fire the state trooper divorcing her sister. I can’t help but wonder if following two years of scandals surrounding the Bush administration’s decision to terminate nine U.S. attorneys for their imagined disloyalty, John McCain might be nervous about a vice president with a proclivity toward doing the same thing. If McCain puts Palin on the Supreme Court, however, she has only a trio of law clerks and a secretary to hire, and each can be vetted for ideological purity.

No fair arguing that Palin isn’t experienced enough to sit on the highest court of the land. What matters—far more than experience—is one’s unyielding moral certainty, relatability and gender. And Palin has these qualities in spades. Washington’s old-boy problem hardly ends at the Oval Office. If ever there were a D.C. institution in dire need of a place to plug in a breast pump, it’s the Supreme Court. And Palin has already proven that neither the courts, nor precedent, nor even the Constitution itself will be a match for the force of her will. America has finally found someone suited to put the “law” back into scofflaw, and it’s Sarah Palin. McCain shouldn’t waste her talents on state funerals.

September 4, 2008

Is the end near? – Truth or Lie

Posted in America, babies, Blame, Body, Business, children, Comedy, family, genetics, Humor, lie of the day, Medical Conditions, men, military, Monkey Butt, Personal, Politics, Quotes, Religion, Republicans, satire, Society, soldier, Spouses, subconscious mind, technology, War, women tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 4:06 pm by jimwilbur

Professor Obvious of WASU gave a lecture today on the state of the world:

Look toward our future! Today there are approximately 6.7 billion people on this little planet. In the next hundred years all these people will be dead, well most of them anyway. What a tragedy! Who will dispose of all these bodies? Think about this too, more people will be born during the next one hundred years and many of those people will die! And what about all the animals? Think about the great blue whales, how many of them will die? What about the lions and tigers and bears? We worry about war, oil, poverty, terrorists and politics but who thinks about the great disaster that is facing us all other than those of us here at WASU?

At WASU, we are thankful to those professor’s who both seek and expose the truth! Obviously, our favorite professor received thunderous applause and a standing ovation from the appreciative audience here at We’re All Screwed University.

September 1, 2008

‘No Values Voters’ Looking To Support Most Evil Candidate

Posted in America, Comedy, Humor, lie of the day, Politicians, Politics, satire, Society, Trends tagged , , , , , , , , at 9:57 pm by jimwilbur

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “‘No Values Voters’ Looking To Support…“, posted with vodpod

 

August 30, 2008

When Authority figures are liars – the most respected man in America

Posted in America, Comedy, Humor, Jon Stewart, lie of the day, Politicians, Politics, satire, Society, subconscious mind, trust tagged , , , , , , , , at 10:16 am by jimwilbur

In High School, if there was a teacher that no one had respect for then everyone would love the kid at the back of the class who threw spit-balls at that teacher when the teacher was not looking.

It is interesting that the most respected man in America seems to be a comedian – Jon Stewart.

As Jon Stewart has said himself, he is like that kid who throws spit-balls at some politicians.

Is he popular because the American people have no respect for some of the current gang of politicians who are running our country – and especially those politicians that Jon is throwing spit-balls at?

That must be a lie, right?

August 29, 2008

The most trusted man in America would not do this!

Posted in America, Comedy, Humor, Jon Stewart, Politicians, Politics, satire, Society, Trends, trust tagged , , , , , , at 12:19 pm by jimwilbur

He would not throw spit balls from the back of the room!

Most Trusted Man

or would he?

August 28, 2008

The most trusted man in America?

Posted in America, Comedy, Humor, Jon Stewart, Politics, satire, Society, trust tagged , , , , at 1:22 am by jimwilbur

Truth or Lie? Is Jon Stewart the most trusted man in America?

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

–George Orwell